With PhD over, I’m strangely uncertain. For the past few (many, actually) years, my (academic) life has been focused upon one single purpose: finish. Now that I have, I am unsure about the academic trajectory I should be taking.

I know one must think about publishing their thesis. And I’ve already sent my work to one publisher. Plus, I know teaching is an important part of academics, and I already have a job teaching in an excellent seminary (SAIACS).

What I’m unsure about is “what kind of academician do I want to be,” “What kind of teacher I want to be,” “What am I to do with all that I have achieved.” Plus, there’s the feeling that I still don’t know enough… so, “how should I make up for missing knowledge, quickly,” or even, “how soon before my knowledge bank runs out!” are also on my mind.

I think the lack of focus gets me the most. Suddenly I’m missing the most significant part of my (academic) life. Everything else was secondary. Now the secondary has suddenly become primary… and I feel lost.

Anyway… this “lostness” is also causing some confusion about the purpose of this blog. It began with the purpose to telling my old classmates/friends about the process and struggles about getting a PhD. Now suddenly that, that is over, what is the new purpose of this site.

Anyway. My dissertation supervisor feels that these feelings are normal. He even states that once you finish a dissertation, a student is prone to depression and feelings of being a failure. Must say that while I am not in any great struggle… there is some truth in that. Hopefully this is a phase and things will become clearer soon.

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